I continue to try to be a sitcom heroine
Did i fall over in the locker room at the gym because i was alone and fake stripping, and i got trapped in my pants? Yes, i did.
Am i currently wearing my very short bathing suit shorts to a restaurant because i’m too lazy to put on separate underwear and pants again? Yes, i am.
Obviously, i’m doing really well at being a grown-up today.
You know how i know im drunk?
Because i just listened to “indie rock and roll” by the killers and cried. Also i have a ton of homework that im muddling through, thinking about my youth, and waiting for mcdonalds delivery to arrive.
I don’t know why i try to shop at H&M
Every time, i am fat-shamed in the fitting room and reminded that their clothes are for tall, thin Swedes, not short, stubby, Hobbit-adjacent me.
I have so much homework to do today
But i’m probably going to watch tv and sleep instead.
I hate everyone except my dogs
Tumblr, im drunk and i hate racism. That is all.
My mom doesn’t know what a bedazzler is
And now im wondering what vagina i fell out of
I just licked kimchi off my phone screen. This is what paper writing all weekend does to me.
Jesus give me strength to focus. Also give me peanut butter and jelly.